Hey mamas,

Today I bring you a guest post on the tough subject of divorce. Being a divorcee myself, I understand not only the importance of but the difficulty of the subject. If you are facing the question of divorce in your life right now, you have come to the right place. Read on!

Why Divorce Is Better Than A Bad Marriage 

Marriage is meant to be a wonderful celebration of life, love, and companionship. 

Unfortunately, many people live in toxic, adversarial, and generally unhealthy marriages for a long time, and for some, throughout their lives.  The fear of living alone, societal expectations, financial hardship, and sometimes, religious and spiritual beliefs in a lifelong marital bond, are just some of the many reasons unhappy partners stay.  

However, staying in a bad marriage takes a toll on your physical and emotional health.

Many believe getting a divorce is a bad thing. However, if you are in a bad, unhealthy marriage, it’s time to face your fears and realize you deserve much more out of your life and relationships. So how do we recognize that we are in an unhealthy marriage and should consider getting a divorce?

Recognizing a bad marriage

Recognizing your marriage is bad and that you need to make a change is a vital first step in your journey to dissociate yourself from it and improve your life. Some notable signs of an unhealthy marriage include:

• Your spouse becomes violent and unkind to you, your kids, and other family members
• She/he has regular episodes of lousy temper, shouting, cursing, or physical fights over trivial issues
• Your partner becomes secretive and protective of their stuff
• You notice signs of infidelity or perhaps, you have irrefutable proof of infidelity.
• Your partner withdraws from being intimate with you or coerces you into sexual encounters that you are not comfortable with
• She/he becomes an irresponsible parent
• Your partner starts abusing alcohol and drugs, has a gambling problem or other risky and addictive behaviors.
• Your partner is involved in criminal activities that put them, you, and your family at risk

The signs mentioned above affect your physical and emotional health. Getting a divorce when your boundaries get repeatedly transgressed is right for your personal freedom. 

Considering each state has different legal proceedings and statutes, it’s advisable to use a divorce attorney to guide you through the process.

So, why is a divorce better than a bad marriage?

You become happier

No matter the physical and emotional pain incurred during your marriage life, a divorce kick-starts the healing process and opens a new chapter in life. 

However, the real happiness after your divorce happens when you realize the hidden strengths that you never knew existed. Rediscovering hidden or forgotten passions and developing new skills after a divorce can often lead individuals to new careers, hobbies, friendships, and healthy relationships.

You prioritize yourself

When staying in a bad marriage, you’re always thinking about ways to reduce the stress, mend the relationship, and protect your kids, putting your physical, emotional, and spiritual needs on hold. 

Divorce enables an individual to practice self-compassion, self-care, and prioritize their needs, thus finding themselves. Putting your physical and mental needs first also empowers you to serve others. You cannot pour from an empty cup.

You gain more control and freedom

The best gift any individual receives after getting a divorce is gaining more control of your time. The freedom to enjoy small activities like going to a spa, meeting family and friends without worrying about time limitation and fears of being judged.  

Additionally, you get to control and steer your life, finances, goals, and work towards your dreams without having to conflict with the interests of others.

Your kids become happier

Many couples stay in unhappy marriages because of their kids. However, they don’t realize how their unhappiness affects the kids. 

Children hear and understand your arguments and feel the tension. Staying in toxic situations confuses them about what is and what is not a healthy relationship and also trains your kids to accept unhealthy situations as ‘normal’ leading to repercussions in their future personal lives.

With a divorce, you become happier, and your happiness shows a good example to your kids. Remember your children learn from you what relationships, love and happiness are.

You begin looking better

A negative environment affects a person’s appearance since what they feel within shows on the outside. 

After a divorce, many people start to transform their inner being, improve their self-esteem, physical looks and this begins a change in their outward appearance. 

You may meet the right person 

Stepping away from an unhealthy relationship gives you a chance to meet someone who is more suitable for you. A failed marriage and a divorce mean that you have learned about yourself and are more likely to recognize the right person when they come along. 

A word of caution: Take some time after your divorce to take a breath before you jump back into the dating scene. The time-out gives you space to learn about yourself, get over your ex, and mentally get in shape, so you can be ready to welcome a healthy relationship. 

You get a brand-new sex life

 Almost every toxic marriage has a poor sex life. 

Divorce gives your sex life a new lease of life. A healthy sex life provides intellectual, social, physical, psychological, and emotional benefits. 

Good sex means increased heart health, a stronger immune system, better sleep and being in touch with your intimate self. Post-divorce sex with the right person can also help reduce anxiety and stress and increase your happiness.

Conclusion 

A bad marriage leaves a person feeling drained, unhappy and unfilled. Life is too short to be spent that way. Getting a divorce means leaving your comfort zone to start a new chapter but life away from the negativity and ripe with possibilities is what you truly deserve. 

Author: Helen Rita

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Much Love, JessXO