Confessions Of A Single Mom
So we single moms, unfortunately, have a lot of stigma and stereotypes. People like to make assumptions about us or judge us for doing life and raising kids on our own. Most of what ‘these people’ say and think are very wrong. So I am going to confess what is true for me, and what is not true about living life as a single mom. I want to know if you can relate!
Confessions Of A Single Mom
So first of all, assumptions suck. Plain and simple. So many people assume that we single moms are lonely, desperate, poor, and do nothing but demand money from our ex’s while bad mouthing them. I would hope that you agree with me in saying that most of those are dead wrong. There are so many things that I am fed up with hearing, having people ask me or assume about me. It makes me crazy!
So, I wanted to clear a few things up about myself and about us single moms in general. I am proud to be a woman who doesn’t need, want, or rely on a man. I am also proud to be raising a son who only has me to guide him through life because he doesn’t need a man either! Not that all men are bad ( ex: hunky Chris Pratt) but they are not necessary. It’s the whole I want you but don’t need you thing. Personally, I don’t want a man, but a lot of women do, for reasons I don’t understand (LOL) Anyway…I’m getting away from my point. My point is, we are not what people think we are, and I am here to shed some light on that. Here are my honest confessions.
Stress, Loneliness, And Baby Daddy Issues.
- Stress is a big issue for me. I am almost always stressed. It’s just a constant way of life now. Everything from running my business, raising my son who has a behavior disorder, homeschooling, keeping up with household chores and not to mentions the bills, running errands and taking my son to classes and sports. It all eats away at me.
Not only do I have myself to worry about, my future and how I will manage, but I also have so much stress over how I am doing as a parent. We have to take care of ourselves and our children without help from anyone most of the time, that is enough to drive us off the edge, at least it is for me and that’s only a small portion of where my stress comes from. Stress is just part of my DNA, it’s who I am now. I am a walking, talking, ball of stress. I think most single moms would say the same. So don’t mess with us, we are very angry.
- Loneliness is something a lot of people think we suffer with. I can’t speak for all single moms on this one but as for myself, the answer is no, I’m not lonely. In fact, I absolutely love being alone pretty much more than anything. I literally count down the hours every day until my son goes to bed and I can be alone. The last thing I want to have to put up with someone else during my favorite time of my day. I am not dreaming of meeting some guy, I am not desperately searching the web for someone to come cuddle with me or any of that junk. I am at my happiest when I am alone all cozy in my chair with snacks, my remote and peace. No one is desperate or lonely here.
- Baby daddy issues are things most people attribute to single moms. We bad mouth or ex’s, try to take our kids from them, demand child support payments, etc. But that is just the false stereotypical veiw that sadly many people have. There are some women out there who are like this, I assure you, but most of us? We’re pretty cool. We have respect, dignity, maturity, and we know how to get by on our own. As for me personally, I am very blessed to not have a “baby daddy”.
My ex-husband is not in the picture at all and hasn’t been for several years, so I have no one to deal with and am happy about it! I know a lot of single moms from support groups and most of them are on good terms with their ex’s and there is very little to no drama, as for us lucky ones who don’t have to worry at all, well….yay us.
Finances, Parenting, And Respect
- When it comes to money, that can make life as a single mom extremely difficult and it’s one of the biggest things we struggle with. Heck, even living on 2 incomes is hard for people. Life is just expensive, and you can’t spend all your time slaving away at a job and not being around for your kids. That just isn’t right and so, therefore, finances can be a huge stress trigger. I know that it is one of if not my biggest issue. This blog that you are reading right now, it is my career. This is how I make a living, or at least try to. So yes, I confess that I am nowhere near financially secure. That is only a fantasy at this point for me, but I’m trying, I’m working on it. I need your support and no judgment. Things that are very hard to come by.
Friends and family are always bashing me and criticizing me for not being more successful and for not being able to financially support myself. But you know what? I am proud of myself. There is nothing else I can do to make my circumstances better, this is my best, and if it’s not good enough for you, then I don’t need you in my life. Period. I give a lot of money tips here on the blog to help all of us single moms find ways we can start building better futures, and I know that we can.
- Parenting a child alone without the other parent has it’s high’s and low’s. Most of the time it’s a non-issue and I handle everything on my own with occasional assistance from my parents and my cousin. We are the village working together and I think we do pretty well. My son has everything he could ever need and is not missing out on anything or ever goes without something important.
Once in a while, there are those brief moments where I think to myself ” I kind of wish he had a dad that could drive him to practice today so I could stay home and get some things done. Or, I wish he had a dad to do a better job talking to him about aiming when using the toilet. Or even, I wish there was someone to play with him right now because I am too stressed and not in the mood to spend time with him” But, it’s only ever just me. I know I am enough, but sometimes, I really just want a break and kind of wish there was someone who could take over for a while I catch my breath.
- Respect. It’s something I wish people had for me. But they don’t. Instead of being proud of me for doing my job as a mom and for sacrificing everything to be a full time at home mom and putting my kid first instead of myself, I get told I’m stupid for it. I get criticized, made fun of, and disrespected by so many people in my life. Even my own parents don’t take me seriously as an adult and mother. They don’t allow me to make the decisions, they disregard the rules I have for my son, and still treat me like a 12-year-old who doesn’t know anything. It is an infuriating way to live. It’s not only my parents, but it’s friends and peers too. I have been told countless times that I am a fool for not getting a “real job” and for choosing to raise my son 100% on my own.
I am constantly told that I need to find a husband and that’s the only way my son and I will ever be happy, which is BS. I get unsolicited parenting advice from people who know far less than I do and get no respect. Ever. That is my biggest confession as a single mom. That because I don’t have a husband or another parent for my kid, I am a loser who people don’t respect and it’s time for a change. I am a strong, independent, intelligent, and kick-butt woman who is deserving of at least a little respect now and then. It may not look like it to the clueless, but trust me, I know what I’m doing. And so do you, mama, so do you.
So, those are my confessions. Can you relate at all? I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments! For more honest single mom life content, please subscribe and follow me on social media! Join the tribe, single moms unite!
Much love, JessXO