When You’re A Single Mom Playing The Dating Game
Hi there mamas,
Dating as a single mom can be exhausting and even overwhelming. Some single moms, like myself, decide to just give up and proudly fly solo. But if this is not the case for you and you are actively playing the dating game while watching all your friends enjoy happy relationships and getting married, then please read on!
When You’re A Single Mom Playing The Dating Game ( and your friends are getting hitched)
That guilty, sinking feeling shivers through your body once again; a forced smile sweeps across your face but your heart melts away in despair. No, you’re not experiencing a breakup. Another one of your close friends has just announced they’re getting married. Being a single mom has never been a walk in the park, but when you suddenly have to experience sheer joy and happiness around you it can be difficult to swallow.
Personally, 3 of my close friends are all about to tie the knot and all the pretending to be excited with them has just plumb worn me out. It’s a difficult position to be in for sure. Trying to force happiness in a situation that makes you want to cry is not exactly fun.
You have just about mastered the balance of work and dating, but nothing ever prepared you for that feeling of being left behind. You’re in a different place in your life than the rest of your friends and you need to come to terms with it. Of course, you’re over the moon for your friend who has just got engaged; you’re thrilled that she has found the one and she truly deserves the world. Is it bad that is shuts down your confidence levels though? Oh, the envious joy. I feel it regularly when friends or family members post cutesy pictures with their boyfriends or announce their engagement or pregnancy.
Why do you feel the need to keep comparing yourself? It’s time to re-evaluate your happiness and embrace who you are (speaking to myself too!) Here are a few ways that you can help out with the wedding preparations without feeling down and depressed. It’s time to feel confident again, with no more envious joy for your friends who are getting hitched.
The Planning and Preparations
Your best friend has asked you to be involved in planning her wedding, which feels a little tough for you to handle. You’re willing to give it your all, but there is something that is stopping you from feeling fully invested. Try to focus on the task at hand and turn the negative feelings into a positive. Pick out beautiful Paper Themes wedding invites and go cake tasting with your best friend. As soon as you see how happy she is you will soon forget how down in the dumps you were earlier.
You are one of the best friends anybody could ask for and you need to be supportive more than ever right now. Obviously you are going to have to deal with your feelings one day, but for now, it’s time to show your support and be there for the person you love. Instead of wallowing in self-doubt, see the positive sides of the situation and truly enjoy planning your friend’s special day with them.
The Big Day
Undoubtedly, the wedding day is going to stir up some raw emotions inside you, but try and remain strong if you can. When I was recently attending my sister’s wedding, I tried to remove myself from it all and focus completely on her joy, forgetting my personal life and just see hers.
Perhaps you are allowed to bring a date along to the big day if so this will be a huge relief for you so you don’t feel too alone. Not to worry if you don’t have a plus one though, now is the time to celebrate in style with your friends. Pour yourself a glass of champagne and forget your troubles for one evening. You work so hard to provide for your children you deserve the night off!
Finding Where You Fit
Discovering where you fit within your friendship group can often be a difficult one. Once you have celebrated a couple of friend’s weddings it can start to feel a little isolating. There is no need to define yourself or fit yourself into a specific stereotype, but it is a good idea, to be honest about where you are in your life.
If you are totally happy being a single mom for the rest of your life, then that is amazing. If you want to find a long-term partner then that’s okay too! Just tell yourself that you are in a different stage of life than the rest of your friends, so you don’t feel put down when you are all moving at different paces.
Where’s the Balance?
You have always put so much focus on making sure your children are happy and you feel guilty when you want to take time away with your friends or go on dates. Stop the mom guilt when you don’t spend every waking moment with your little ones; you need to learn that balance is absolutely okay. Your children would want you to be happy, so if that means going out once a week then you should totally do that.
Know Your Worth
You are far too hard on yourself sometimes and you know that ( I know it too for myself.) You beat yourself up for making the slightest mistake and you often blame yourself for being a single mom. You need to start understanding your worth and know that you are truly amazing. No matter what your personal situation is, you should always love yourself. Don’t feel worthless because you are living a different life than you had imagined for yourself. You were given this path for a reason and it’s all going to work out perfectly in the end.
Making Yourself a Priority
It is time to start prioritizing yourself over others for a change; obviously, you want to spend as much time as possible with your little ones, but you don’t have to make your entire life about them. Do things that make you happy, whether that is taking a hot bubble bath at night or reading your favorite book for twenty minutes a day. This type of self-care is going to make you a better mother, a stronger woman, and a more empowered female.
All in all, you need to learn to be happy for your friends when good things happen to them; understand that your time will come again and you are amazing even without a man. You do so much for your children every single day; you are the best mom and businesswoman anybody could ask for, so understand your worth.
Don’t let your feelings get the better of you and feel empowered by your personal situation. It hasn’t been an easy road, but you are so strong, you will come out fighting until the end. In the meantime, enjoy the excitement that your friends face at this time in their lives. Offer your skills, advice, and companionship whenever they need you. You know you are an amazing friend, so it’s time to ignore your inner envious demons and join the party.
I know it’s a challenge, trust me, I really know! But we shouldn’t feel envious joy for anyone. We are better than that, right? Share this post with your fellow single friends and live life proud of your current status!
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