The Struggle Of Post-Partum Depression

Postpartum Depression | neveralonemom.com

Hello my dears, welcome to another post brought to you by yours truly. Today on the blog I want to talk about something pretty serious, post-partum depression. The struggle is very real when it comes to things like depression, anxiety, and other similar mood disorders. Take it from me, I know the challenges they bring as I have suffered from depression and other issues my entire life.  It’s not fun, it’s not easy and it’s definitely not something to be ignored. But in this post, I want to talk specifically about post-partum depression and it’s struggles.

 

I too went through a nasty deep depression both during and after my pregnancy. Already having depression and other issues it hit me hard and there were quite a few days I literally couldn’t even. More on that in a bit. So to answer the question I bet you’re thinking, yes you can have pregnancy related depression during your pregnancy too, not just after giving birth. These during pregnancy emotional rides are referred to as ‘perinatal mood disorders’ and affect around 20% of pregnant women.  Symptoms such as feelings of deep sadness, anxiety, sleeplessness, lack of focus, energy and of dread about motherhood are common.  Many things can bring this about during pregnancy, stress, poor diet, lack of sleep and most importantly emotional trauma and personal struggle. For me, already having depression it was probably inevitable for it to only increase with my spike of hormones when I became pregnant, but that was not the main reason I feel like it hit me so hard. During my very complicated and stressful pregnancy, I was going through the hardest time of my life.  I wasn’t one of the lucky moms who felt joy and excitement when the pee test showed pink lines. I was 21 years old, still living with my parents, no job, had just been kicked out of college and had a very difficult and complicated relationship with my boyfriend.  Being raised in an extremely strict Christian home my parents were less than overjoyed at the news. In fact they were heartbroken and at first wanted nothing to do with the child I would be having. My father wouldn’t even look at me for months following the news. It was a very painful time. I had no support, help, money, encouragement, or even the slightest clue of how to actually take care of a baby. During my pregnancy, all of the stress also caused physical complications, and I was in and out of the hospital constantly, even spending my entire 6th-month bedridden and all alone in a cold hospital room. Daily stress tests were part of my routine and eventually, I went into a very complicated and difficult labor weeks early resulting in having an emergency c-section before my little preemie baby boy came into the world. I wasn’t the first person to see him or hold him and had no idea if he was even ok as I spent hours all alone in the recovery room.  When our meeting did finally come, I expected to feel emotional, cry tears of joy and the feeling of knowing that all of that drama was worth it. Instead, I wasn’t even given the chance to see my baby boy’s face before he was literally shoved into my breast immediately after being rolled into my room where my baby was being held by a total stranger. That was the onset of what then became post-partum depression for me.  I was alone and deeply felt it. There were days I would wake up to my son crying in the morning and I was so tired and depressed I would start to cry myself and just keep laying there…..usually for hours. I am ashamed to admit that, but it’s what depression does to people. It stops us from being the best versions of ourselves.  Almost 2 years later, however, the post-partum symptoms began to fade and my “regular” depression settled back in, but since he and I were such close buddies already it was no big deal….I guess. But motherhood became something I fought to be better at, and it was much easier to find little bits of joy in it.  I suffered alone, but no one should have to.

1 in every 8 women suffers from some form of post-partum depression. With a wide range of symptoms such as feelings of inadequacy, anxiety, harmful thoughts, and lack of motivation for self-care and or caring for the baby it is so hard to understand what’s going on and ask for help.  It’s more common than people realize and it’s high time we acknowledge that it happens to even the best of us.  There is no need to go through it alone like I did so if you are pregnant or recently had a baby and feel like you may be suffering from something you don’t quite understand, talk to someone today. A parent, friend or even your doctor.  Especially us single moms who don’t have partners to help with raising a child, it’s so important to not deal with these issues on your own.

If you feel like you need to talk to someone about your depression, head over to BetterHelp.com for information.

I hope this has shed a little extra light on the subject matter for you and you feel encouraged to either help yourself or help other moms around you. Much love & warmth…

Jess XO

How To Overcome Single Mom Guilt

how to overcome single mom guilt | neveralonemom.com

Hey hey there mamas!
It’s me again, your girl Jess and I have come with some solace for that heavy guilt we all deal with daily as stressed-out single moms and how to overcome.

single mom guilt | neveralonemom.com

Being a single mom is tough, tougher than most of us like to admit, and it comes with guilt over things like the feeling we are not enough for our children, or we can’t provide enough for them on our own. Then there are other things as well that cross our minds as we try to sleep at night. But don’t worry momma, I am here to help you…and me to overcome that guilt because it’s not necessary.

When someone says to you “I’m sorry” or makes you feel shame for being a single mom, just take it stride. Many people out there still throw judgment, and criticism towards us for raising our babies on our own.  Don’t let their ignorance or lack of understanding make you feel like you’re doing something wrong or bad. You are so strong, brave and doing what is best. You are doing your job as a mom and you know what? You’re a superhero! Don’t let anyone take that truth away from you.

No matter what, your kids will hate you or disagree on how you chose to raise them. It’s normal. It’s harsh but totally true. At some point, your kid/s will hate you. Or at least, say they do. So when your bratty toddler or teenager is making you feel like scum but saying or doing hurtful things and you feel tempted to believe that you are a bad mom and that doing this alone is just not working…it’s OK. This happens to every mom every day. It’s not you, typically it’s them and they will get over it and someday thank you and appreciate all your hard efforts. So go get a massage from a hot shirtless masseuse and remember that this is a normal part of parenting. Don’t let their snotty little attitudes bring ya down.

You can only do the best you can and that is always good enough. To further drive this point home, you really can only do so much and that is always enough for your kiddo/s. Whether it seems that way or not, it really is.  As long as everyone is provided for, happy and loved, then that’s what’s most important. You can do that, so don’t worry. They’ll be fine. 🙂

Find your strength as a single mom and let it empower you! You can do it and you will. Ready to wear your super mom cape yet?

Have hope that it will all turn out to be alright. Just trust yourself. You were made to be a mother and your instincts and heart will guide you.  Take it one day at a time if you have to, believe me, I do!  Focus on getting through today and let tomorrow worry for itself. No need to stress over things that haven’t happened yet!

Don’t blame yourself or feel any guilt over being a single parent. Most of us did not choose it, and if you did then hey, more power to ya mama! You got this girl, No worries! 😉

single mom | neveralonemom.com

Keep your chin up beautiful!

Love Jess XO

10 Things To Never Say To A Single Mom

Hey there sexy mamas!
So, I’ve been wanting to write this post for a while becasue I’ve had it up to wazoo with dealing with the dumb things people can say. I’m sure all these things have been said to you and as a single mom doesn’t it just make you want to strangle the person? Ok…maybe that’s just me…I tend to have a violent imagination haha…so I have made a list of 10 things to never say to a single mom. Let’s get into this.
  1. Get a sitter.

Yeah, I’m just going to leave my kid with some random stranger or dump them on a friend or relative so I can go hang out with you. Sure. Oh, and I’ll be pulling money out from my arse to pay them as well. Sounds terrific. See you at 8. Do people actually expect a single mother to just have someone available at all times to watch their kid so they can just take off whenever? Look, I am taking care of my child/ren ALONE. I cannot and will not be going out with you tonight. Don’t be dumb.
2.Where’s the dad? What happened?

This question makes me want to show them my inner ghetto attitude with a very nasty “that aint none ya business!” But instead I just answer them leaving out all the horrific and angering details even though it isn’t any of their business. My kid’s dad is in Acapulco working as a spy for the Government protecting us from the aliens if you must know, becasue why else would he not be in his kids life?
3. Doesn’t the dad help? Does he get them?

Why do people even ask this? When they look at a single mom what makes them think to ask if the dad helps out or sees them sometimes? Not all separated families co-parent. Most actually don’t. So don’t be nosy.
4. Do they have different dads?

If you have more then one child I’m sure you’ve been asked this. It’s frustrating isn’t it? I can’t believe people actually ask this. Just don’t.
5. No statistics.

People love quoting statistics to us. Like as if they think telling us facts which are mostly wrong will make us change our entire lives for the better. Seriously? If you are not a single parent, then don’t you dare quote statistics to me and think you’re being helpful. You’re not.

single mom | neveralonemom.com
6. You single moms.

Never ever start off a conversion by saying “you single moms” umm…excuse me? Us single moms? Watch it sweetie. It’s just like saying all you hat wearers. Really?
7.I feel like a single mom too.

Ok, let’s get something straight. If you are married, are in a relationship or something to that effect then no, you cannot say that you relate to being a single mom in any way. Women are always saying, my husband works all the time, or he travels a lot or my boyfriend doesn’t help with my kids so I feel like a single mom too. You’re kidding me right? No honey, you have no clue what being a real single mom is like. So appreciate the man you have in your life and shut your mouth.
8. How do you do it alone?

How do you ask? Really now. Umm well, the same way any other mom on the planet does it. By loving my child/ren with all my heart and doing my best for them. I am perfectly capable and you should believe that I am too. I just simply do it. There isn’t a how. There is no single mom manual. Love is all you need.
9. Poor kid, he/she doesn’t have a dad.

I’m sorry? Did I hear you correctly? My poor kid? That’s hilarious. There is nothing poor or sad about my kid not having a dad. My son is lucky and better off to not have his dad in the picture. As long as a child is loved, then no. They are not poor and they are not missing out on anything.
10. I’m sorry.

When someone tells me they are sorry that I’m a single mom I seriously don’t understand. You’re sorry for….what? Please explain why it’s so awful that I have beautiful kids that I get to take care of and love. I don’t know what it is you feel so sorry for but, I don’t accept your apology. I would however, love to accept a coffee.

I hope this has opened your eyes a bit and taught you how to respond to these ridiculous questions or what not to say to any single mom you come across. We are in this together.  On your own, but never alone. 😉

Love your girl, Jess XO

Mom Self Care Toolkit -Freebie!-

Self Care For Moms | neveralonemom.com

Hey mommas!

I have something very special to share with you, and I know you are going to love it! I am very excited to share this mom self-care toolkit with you that a friend of mine has put together. Read on to hear her story and to get this awesome toolkit for yourself! (It’s free!) 😀

Six years ago, my friend Jen Riday was struggling with her at-the-time 5 kids.

She had just suffered a miscarriage.

And she baaarely liked her husband.

She hit rock bottom and started to feel like there was no purpose to her life. She had given everything to her family… baking bread, throwing elaborate birthday parties, trying to be the “perfect” mom.

But she kind of lost herself in the process.

Today, she is feeling great and happier than ever (and she now has 6 kids!). She has become a Women’s Happiness Expert so she can help other moms find their way out from those low points we sometimes fall into.

So the big question is — how did she make such a huge shift in just 6 years?

Well, Jen has created a free digital toolkit that compiles all of her best tips on exactly what she did.

And guess what? She’s letting me hook you up with that toolkit — for free! (Yasss) 😀

 

Sign up to get free access to the toolkit here.

So what IS this toolkit, exactly?

It’s the Self Care Toolkit for Busy Moms.

It includes a video training, a workbook, the “Wheel of Happiness” (if you like wheels and you like happiness, you’ll love this! Seriously, though, the WoH is amazing!), and 2 guided meditations Jen created just for moms like you.

The toolkit is packed with some of Jen’s best teachings.

The thing I love about Jen is that she has a fun teaching style where she’s able to break down complex ideas into simple, easy-to-follow steps. (Her thousands of students would probably agree!)

And the best part about this training? It’s all online– so you can get crackalackin’ right now on learning how to take time for yourself (without guilt and without any hassle).

All you have to do is sign up for the series here (there’s no charge).

I hope you’re going to snag up this awesome freebie! I also hope that it brings you joy and some much-needed support!

Lastly, if you are interested in hearing Jen talk about her mom toolkit then you can listen to her right here on her podcast!

I’m so excited about this! Be sure to grab your toolkit now!

Enjoy!

Much Love,

Jess XO

Shows On Netflix For The Single Mom

Shows On Netflix for single moms | neveralonemom.com

Hey mama’s!
How’s it hanging? I know life can be pretty stressful with youngin’s running around and being super mom and all. So I have put together a little list of some shows on Netflix for us single moms that are most def binge-worthy on those nights if and when you finally get a little time to yourself. These shows will rejuvenate you, inspire you and if nothing else, make you laugh, cry or even cringe.

So get ready to grab your remote and tune into some awesome shows that will help relieve some of that super mom stress I know you’ve got! Here we go…

Netflix shows for single moms | neveralonemom.com

One Day At A Time
This new Netflix original showcases the life of a single mom and her struggles with a twist of humor and a dash of chaos. It’s sure to make you laugh and thank the good Lord you are not her. Add this show now!

Weeds
This one is a bit older and it’s still one of the best when it comes to showing a powerful single mom making her way through this crazy world. She herself may be a bit nuts, but…aren’t we all!?

Bates Motel
This one is for the brave few of us that want a little cringe and shock factor in our shows. Based off of the original story, this show has quickly become as much of a classic as the movies that made the Bates famous. If you’re in for a gruesome tale of mother and son, this one is a must watch!

Reba
Another oldie but goodie, Reba, naturally starring Reba McEntire, is a comedic sitcom all about single mom life in Texas. It’s sure to bring on the laughter and drag out your “ya’ll”.

Mom
This hilarious comedy about a single mom played wonderfully by Anna Farris and her relationship with her own mother is one to definitely bring out the heart and gold of the life of moms. Be sure to binge this one tonight!

Gilmore Girls
What would a list of t.v shows be without Gilmore Girls? I’d hate to even think….this show is a personal favorite of mine and I think of like everyone else on the planet…am I right? Now matter how many times you watch this amazing show about mother and daughter you immediately want to start over and watch it all again. So whatever ails you in life, stressing over kids, work, breakups, being broke, fight with a friend, you know that the girls of Stars Hollow will be there for you and help straighten your crown and keep you sane. This show always deserves another binge watch, so why not do it now?

So now that you have your list of the next shows you will be watching on Netflix, what are you still doing here? Go have some much needed you time!
Love to all you mamas!
Your Girl, Jess XO

Why Single Parenting Is Never Wrong

Why Single Parenting Is Never Wrong | neveralonemom.com

Hey there, I’m about to ruffle a few feathers, so hang tight.

I am here to tell you why single parenting is never wrong…

Ok guys….I’ve been very upset lately because I have been hearing and reading a lot about how so many people have negative views and opinions on single parenting and I have had enough!  As a single mom, I am very offended by people always criticizing me on raising my son on my own. I’ve heard everything from it isn’t right, it’s not good for the child, it’s emotionally unstable blah blah blah! I’m so sick of it.  It’s all a bunch of bunk.

These people have never had to be single parents so they don’t have a clue or any right to say the things they say. They may throw statistics or so-called “science” out there to try and convince you that raising a child without a father, or in some cases, a mother is wrong and bad for the child. Well, let me tell you something. When you are a single parent, by circumstances or by choice, it is never wrong. How could it be? We are more than capable of raising children without the help of another parent.  Millions of parents do it just fine and we don’t need a bunch of stuck up, critical and judgemental creeps telling us that loving our children and doing our best for them is wrong.

Parenting Is | neveralonemom.com
Image via Pinterest

Being  deeply upset by this issue  I can no longer hold my tongue, (or fingers, in this case. ) I have chosen to work from home, so I can be with my son all the time. Since I am his only parent I feel that it is right to make myself more available for him and to be present with him all day. I know that he needs me, and he has not missed not having another parent around. I am more than enough for him.  I homeschool him, I take him to basketball practice and cheer from the stands, I do art projects and play legos with him, we have movie nights and heart to heart talks. I answer all of his life questions and explain things he needs to understand, we read books, say our prayers and I tuck him into bed each night as he drifts off to sleep with such a peaceful expression. So tell me, how is that wrong exactly?  My son is happy, well adjusted and does just fine without a father. He came into the world in that cold delivery room to just me, all he ever needed was just me and all he will ever need is just me. I have enough love, time, dedication and strength to be enough for him as he grows up and I believe the same for all single parents.

We know our children, and if we feel that something is missing from their lives or they express to us that they need something then we will fulfill their needs to the best of our abilities and make sure that they know how much they are loved. If they ever need more, then we will do our best to give it to them. Your statics may be accurate for some, but not all and in the end, it’s more about the child’s own choices in life and less about how they were raised that determines their behavior. At least that’s my opinion. Take a look at this article published on The Huffington Post, it’s a great read! 5 Reasons It’s Better To Be A Single Parent

Being A Single Parent | neveralonemom.com

I know I’ve gotten a little intense in this post, but this issue just makes my blood boil. When it comes down to it, God gave us our children. He chose us to be our children’s parents and God doesn’t make mistakes. We can only do our best, and our best will always be good enough. I may want a father for my son, but I certainly don’t need one, and neither does he. He has told me so and I take his word for it.  As single parents, we are stronger, tougher, and full of more love. Nothing wrong with that!

Please like, share and leave me a comment! You guys rock!

Love & Laughter,

Jess XO

 

5 Subscription Boxes Every Single Mom Needs

5 Subscription Boxes Every Single Mom Needs | neveralonemom.com

Do you love subscription boxes?

Or have you been dying to try one or two out?

Well, mama, I’m here to give you not one, not two but five subscription boxes that ever single mom needs! Yes, NEEDS. So if you’re like me and you are happily riding on the subscription box trend train or would like to hop on board, then read on for my top five boxes that will make your life as a single mom soooo much better!

For You ~

  • Box 1: Single Swag

Single Swag is an amazing monthly subscription box that delivers all types of goodies for all the single ladies!They have goodies such as bath and body products, candy & snacks, books written by women for women, household items and all kinds of fun swag! They have two boxes to choose from, a smaller size box with a smaller price tag and a larger box with a slightly larger price tag. Both are fantastic and perfect for any single mom because you deserve to have some special goodies just for yourself! The boxes are around $40 but they have special deals for when you sign up. Also, I have to say the customer support at Single Swag is outstanding. I had one minor complaint about the last box I received and they sent me 3 free items! Overall this box is a must. Here are some pictures of what I received in my most recent Single Swag box:

Also, I have to say the customer support at Single Swag is outstanding. I had one minor complaint about the last box I received and they sent me 3 free items! Overall this box is a must. Here are some pictures of what I received in my most recent Single Swag box:

Makeup Bag | neveralonemom.com
Canvas Makeup Bag
Milk Bath | neveralonemom.com
Natural Milk Bath

 

Single Swag | neveralonemom.com
My Single Swag Box

If you would like to sign up to receive a Single Swag box of your own, just click here!

  • Box 2: Fab Fit Fun:

Ok girls, this has to be the greatest subscription box of all time. Like.Seriously. Each season (4 times per year) Fab Fit Fun sends you a box chalked full of goodies just about any mom would love. Accessories like scarves, headwear, jewelry, skincare items, all natural makeup, snacks, adult coloring books, and the list goes on! Over $200 worth of products! All the things you receive cater to the season in which your box is sent, so like springy items for spring etc. You will never be disappointed with your box and I know you will totally love every single item! Since it only ships out four times per year, the higher price tag for this box is completely worth it. Sign up now and get $10 off your first box, making it only $39.99. Follow the link below to sign up!

Fab Fit Fun

  • Box 3: Goodbeing:

So the last box that is a must-have for yourself, is the Goodbeing subscription box. This one is a little lower in price but has some amazing all natural health and wellness products that any busy and tired mama would love to receive each month.  Goodbeing has skincare, makeup, bath & body, wellness products, supplements, vegan snacks and the like. The perfect box for a healthy happy lifestyle! Just click right here to choose how you want your boxes delivered!

For The Kids ~

  • Box 4: Green Kid Crafts

This box for kids sends your child a monthly craft using natural and green materials! Keep your little one busy with a fun craft that promotes learning, and a love of nature! Get your box now and save $10! Give your child a creative gift each month by clicking here!

  • Box 5: Box of Challenge

This box is more fun than a barrel of monkeys! The best part of this box is that it is actually for you and your kids to do together! It gives you a chance to have some fun quality time by receiving a new fun game to play together each month! Every box has a fun, challenge for you and your kids to complete together, and is sure to make your time together all the more special! Box of Challenge is recommended for kids 8 and up and is for 2 or more players. Check out this uniquely fun box I just know you will love!

Box of Challenge!

 

Well, that’s it for now! I hope you have found some fun and stress relieving goodness that will be arriving in your mailbox soon! I’m so excited for you! (does silly dance)

Until next time, stay fabulous mamas!

Your Girl, Jess XO

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