Hey there sexy mamas!
So, I’ve been wanting to write this post for a while becasue I’ve had it up to wazoo with dealing with the dumb things people can say. I’m sure all these things have been said to you and as a single mom doesn’t it just make you want to strangle the person? Ok…maybe that’s just me…I tend to have a violent imagination haha…so I have made a list of 10 things to never say to a single mom. Let’s get into this.
- Get a sitter.
Yeah, I’m just going to leave my kid with some random stranger or dump them on a friend or relative so I can go hang out with you. Sure. Oh, and I’ll be pulling money out from my arse to pay them as well. Sounds terrific. See you at 8. Do people actually expect a single mother to just have someone available at all times to watch their kid so they can just take off whenever? Look, I am taking care of my child/ren ALONE. I cannot and will not be going out with you tonight. Don’t be dumb.
2.Where’s the dad? What happened?
This question makes me want to show them my inner ghetto attitude with a very nasty “that aint none ya business!” But instead I just answer them leaving out all the horrific and angering details even though it isn’t any of their business. My kid’s dad is in Acapulco working as a spy for the Government protecting us from the aliens if you must know, becasue why else would he not be in his kids life?
3. Doesn’t the dad help? Does he get them?
Why do people even ask this? When they look at a single mom what makes them think to ask if the dad helps out or sees them sometimes? Not all separated families co-parent. Most actually don’t. So don’t be nosy.
4. Do they have different dads?
If you have more then one child I’m sure you’ve been asked this. It’s frustrating isn’t it? I can’t believe people actually ask this. Just don’t.
5. No statistics.
People love quoting statistics to us. Like as if they think telling us facts which are mostly wrong will make us change our entire lives for the better. Seriously? If you are not a single parent, then don’t you dare quote statistics to me and think you’re being helpful. You’re not.
6. You single moms.
Never ever start off a conversion by saying “you single moms” umm…excuse me? Us single moms? Watch it sweetie. It’s just like saying all you hat wearers. Really?
7.I feel like a single mom too.
Ok, let’s get something straight. If you are married, are in a relationship or something to that effect then no, you cannot say that you relate to being a single mom in any way. Women are always saying, my husband works all the time, or he travels a lot or my boyfriend doesn’t help with my kids so I feel like a single mom too. You’re kidding me right? No honey, you have no clue what being a real single mom is like. So appreciate the man you have in your life and shut your mouth.
8. How do you do it alone?
How do you ask? Really now. Umm well, the same way any other mom on the planet does it. By loving my child/ren with all my heart and doing my best for them. I am perfectly capable and you should believe that I am too. I just simply do it. There isn’t a how. There is no single mom manual. Love is all you need.
9. Poor kid, he/she doesn’t have a dad.
I’m sorry? Did I hear you correctly? My poor kid? That’s hilarious. There is nothing poor or sad about my kid not having a dad. My son is lucky and better off to not have his dad in the picture. As long as a child is loved, then no. They are not poor and they are not missing out on anything.
10. I’m sorry.
When someone tells me they are sorry that I’m a single mom I seriously don’t understand. You’re sorry for….what? Please explain why it’s so awful that I have beautiful kids that I get to take care of and love. I don’t know what it is you feel so sorry for but, I don’t accept your apology. I would however, love to accept a coffee.
I hope this has opened your eyes a bit and taught you how to respond to these ridiculous questions or what not to say to any single mom you come across. We are in this together. On your own, but never alone. 😉
Love your girl, Jess XO