So, I’m just going to get straight into it today, because I know what it feels like to be a fed up single mom. So no wasting time here, I am ready to share my thoughts with you knowing that you can totally relate, so let’s dive right in.
5 Things I Know You Are Fed Up With As A Single Mom
1. Getting flack and/or feeling guilty about child support. Most single parents in this modern world are court ordered or otherwise to pay child support unless the other parent is not in the picture ( this is my case ) and I know it’s a complicated situation and can lead to getting tons of flack from the other parent, their family, your family, friends and mom shamers online. It’s no picnic to be a single mom, and when you are paying or receiving or attempting to receive child support it can feel like a lonely and vicious battle.
Sometimes you may feel guilty for needing it or wanting it from the “father” even if it was the court’s decision, not yours. If it was you who decided to go after the support you shouldn’t feel bad for it. It is expensive to raise children, and the other person is responsible for helping so let them do what they should be doing and feel grateful for the help instead of guilty, shamed or simply ticked off for negative comments thrown your way. Straighten your crown and take care of those babies!
2. Pressure to find a man and/or father figure. Ok, now this one really steams me up! Are you ever annoyed and pressured by friends and family for being a single mom? I know I certainly am. You get the lectures about how your kid/s need a more active male presence int heir life, someone to be a “father figure” or how you shouldn’t have to do everything on your own, and how you need a man and blah blah blah? Doesn’t it drive you mad?
To heck with that! You are a strong independent mama who doesn’t need a man. That’s right, you are solid, girl. It might be nice to have a dude around but just remember all the heartache and complications that come with breakups as a single mom and also the potential vulnerability and craziness of online dating. Politely tell those friends or family members to buzz off and leave you alone about finding a man. You got this!
3. Being the only bad guy. Being a single mom is tough for countless reasons, one of them being that, most days anyway, you are the only disciplinary for your child/ren. When the kids act up and you have to dish out the mean voice and disciple it feels 100 times worse on your own, because you are always the bad guy to your kids. There are no taking turns with the other parent, there are no times when you feel ok giving in and letting things slip. It’s all you, all the time.
This is necessary, however, no matter how much it sucks. Even on the days when you feel overwhelmed, beaten and worn down by the little terrors in your life. I know you’re fed up, but stay strong and get mean even if you hate it. One day, they will respect you more for it. Hopefully.
Raise your hand if you’ve ever felt personally victimized by your kid.
4. Feeling lonely. Loneliness comes with the territory of being a single mom. The lack of a social life can get to you, especially on the harder days. I know it’s easy to feel isolated and left out when it seems like everyone else is out there living life, going to fun events, dinners, dates, traveling etc while you are stuck at home with kids every day.
For me, being a stay at home, homeschooling single mom, I am at home with my son all day every day. So let me tell ya, it can make you feel like you’re slowly losing your mind. Pretty soon you will start having full on conversations with the broom just to feel human again. But never fear, it does get easier. Doesn’t it?
5. Never getting a break. Last on this list is the feeling that so often comes with parenthood that you just never get a break. Constant running here and there, dealing with this crisis, this crying kid, this ringing phone, this bill that somehow needs to get paid, the lack of sleep. It wears you down and wears you out. If you don’t get 5 minutes to yourself soon you are going to scream, right? I feel you.
But listen, you are a mom! As tiring and hectic as it all is, it’s your job! Who else is going to do it? You do deserve a break, so figure out a way to make it happen, whether it’s staying up a bit later after the kids are asleep, or leaving them with grandparents for a day or a weekend. Make it happen and find some time to take for yourself, then you will feel refreshed and ready to get back at it! Put on your super mom pants and do what you gotta do, girl. Raise those babies, and know that you absolutely can do this and even when you are going insane, you are doing a good job and it’s all going to be alright!
So tell me, which one of these are you the most fed up with? Leave me a comment!
Before you go, make sure you are subscribed to my awesomesauce mailing list, don’t miss out on future posts and other cool content!
Much love, Jessxo