Self Confidence For The Single Mom

self confidence for the single mom | neveralonemom.com

Happy New Year Mamas!

The start of the new year is right around the corner and with that for most brings a lot of looking at your life, resolutions, new goals, and self-confidence issues. So today I am hoping to help boost all of these areas for you! Keep on reading to see my best advice for self-confidence for the single mom!

Reflection & Looking Ahead

Pretty much everyone takes a look back on the last year of their life and a glimpse of hope for the next year on New Years. It’s a time to really think about what you’ve accomplished, or not accomplished and what you can do better going into the new year. As single moms, sometimes it’s hard to not have those negative thoughts about we failed ourselves, our kids and just didn’t do everything we feel like we should have. But you know what? None of that is true!

You are a smart, strong, hard-working mama who absolutely did her best and in no way failed anyone.  Do not look back on this last year with disappointment in yourself. You did all you could, and you rocked it! Do look ahead with hope and excitement, because this year will be even better. You can only go up from here, claim it and believe it! Let’s all move forward ready to take on 2018.

Self Confidence 

I have struggled with self-confidence my entire life. It’s never been easy to feel good about myself, feel like I was good enough like I was attractive or even loved.  I am sure as single moms yourselves, you feel me.  The things we go through raising kids on our own and not having a true support system can be damaging to us. Whether you survived an abusive relationship, a toxic family, or are still dealing with mental health issues, loneliness, or any other dark cloud, your self-confidence suffers.

It is time to take back your self-love. It is time to begin to heal from those hurtful and false thoughts and learn how to feel more comfortable and confident in your own skin. I’m not just saying this to you, I’m saying this to me too! Are you ready to love yourself? I know I am!

self confidence | neveralonemom.com

My Best Advice

Spend time with yourself. Yes, really. Take a little time each day, if you can, and have some quality me time.  Take a walk outside, go to the grocery store alone, watch a movie by yourself. Just relax in your own thoughts, examine them closely and start trying to change them. Find something you enjoy doing or thinking about and run with that. Find the small things in your day and all the little things that make you smile and hold on to that joy. Allow it to leak out and spread to the rest of your thoughts and actions. Find beauty in life, and find it in yourself.

Make time for outward self-love. Give yourself a mani-pedi, do an at-home face mask. Pluck your eyebrows, do a hair mask, take a bubble bath, buy some new makeup or a hot new outfit, etc. Pamper yourself, take care of yourself. Do something that will naturally boost your confidence and help you to not only maybe look a little better but feel so much better! These things may seem silly but they are actually important. Boost those endorphins any way you can, flaunt your hot self and look and feel fabulous. Because you are!

new me | neveralonemom.com

Set new goals. This may seem like new years no-brainer, but the trick with this is to set realist goals for yourself.  That way when you didn’t go on that vacation to Bora Bora you won’t feel like you failed your goals. Set goals like, eat more greens, read more books, try a new workout, find a new game to play with the kids etc.  Be simple and realistic with your goals, so that way you can crush them and not be left with disappointment in a  years time.  Don’t fool yourself, but also don’t sell yourself short either. You know what realistic goals for yourself are, set yourself up for greatness, not failure. Make this year about what you can do, not what you wish you could do.

For more help with self-love, please visit liveyourdream.org

I hope I’ve given you some tips on making 2018 your best year yet and given you a shimmering new self-confidence!

May your year be blessed.

JessXO

 

Why Do I Feel So Empty? – Signs Of Depression & Mental Illness

Depression | neveralonemom.com

Hey there mamas,

So today on the blog I am sharing a fantastic article written by my friends at  http://www.betterhelp.com about the signs and symptoms of depression. Mental health is a topic that I think is very important and as a mom who struggles with depression and other mental health issues, I feel the need to share some info with you all as it seriously impacts us as moms and women.  I have written about mental health before since it’s such an important topic to me, so  I was very thankful for this article to share. Continue on to read how to better understand how you may be feeling. – Jess XO

 

Why Do I Feel So Empty?

Feeling empty is one of the loneliest feelings there is and it is so difficult to explain to people too. How do you tell someone what feeling empty is like? It is sort of like knowing there is something missing but not knowing what it is. It is a helpless and sad feeling that changes your whole outlook on life. If you cannot figure out what it is that is making you feel that way, that feeling may not go away. You may think it is because you are broke or because you had a fight with your best friend. However, these external things do not usually last. You may be sad for a while due to external issues like this but it does not continue day after day. That is about your inner perspective and what your expectations are. Figuring out what is causing this feeling is not easy.

What Does Feeling Empty Feel Like?

You may be feeling tired and rundown or you may feel numbness. These feelings are usually a sign that there is something going on with your mental health. You may be stressed out or anxious about something or you may be depressed. Figuring out why you are feeling this way is important so you can get back to your normal life. Has anything happened to you recently that is affecting your mental health like losing your job or the loss of a family member? These things can trigger an episode of emptiness that may not go away until you address it. Maybe you are suffering from a physical illness that you cannot get rid of or you may be having trouble sleeping. These feelings you are having can affect your life, your work, and your relationships as well.

Getting Some Help

It may be time to talk to someone about these feelings so you can get your life back on track. This does not mean that you need to run out and find a psychiatrist or psychologist. Your first step should be talking to your regular doctor. Get a physical checkup and tell the doctor how you are feeling. He may find something simple that is wrong such as a hormone imbalance or vitamin deficiency. If that is the case, a prescription may be able to fix your emptiness feeling. If not, he may suggest you talk to a therapist.

Therapy Online

If you do not want to make an appointment and see a therapist, there are other options that can make it easier. Online mental health resources such as BetterHelp.com can help you find someone to talk to and you do not even need to leave the house or make an appointment. In fact, you can try a chat room at first to see how you like that. A chat room is a good place to talk to others anonymously about your feelings and get advice from others who have similar issues. If that is not for you, there are over 2,000 licensed professionals available to talk to you online anytime on your smartphone or other electronic devices. Give it a try and you could be feeling better today!

* This post was proudly sponsored by BetterHelp.com * 






The Struggle Of Post-Partum Depression

Postpartum Depression | neveralonemom.com

Hello my dears, welcome to another post brought to you by yours truly. Today on the blog I want to talk about something pretty serious, post-partum depression. The struggle is very real when it comes to things like depression, anxiety, and other similar mood disorders. Take it from me, I know the challenges they bring as I have suffered from depression and other issues my entire life.  It’s not fun, it’s not easy and it’s definitely not something to be ignored. But in this post, I want to talk specifically about post-partum depression and it’s struggles.

 

I too went through a nasty deep depression both during and after my pregnancy. Already having depression and other issues it hit me hard and there were quite a few days I literally couldn’t even. More on that in a bit. So to answer the question I bet you’re thinking, yes you can have pregnancy related depression during your pregnancy too, not just after giving birth. These during pregnancy emotional rides are referred to as ‘perinatal mood disorders’ and affect around 20% of pregnant women.  Symptoms such as feelings of deep sadness, anxiety, sleeplessness, lack of focus, energy and of dread about motherhood are common.  Many things can bring this about during pregnancy, stress, poor diet, lack of sleep and most importantly emotional trauma and personal struggle. For me, already having depression it was probably inevitable for it to only increase with my spike of hormones when I became pregnant, but that was not the main reason I feel like it hit me so hard. During my very complicated and stressful pregnancy, I was going through the hardest time of my life.  I wasn’t one of the lucky moms who felt joy and excitement when the pee test showed pink lines. I was 21 years old, still living with my parents, no job, had just been kicked out of college and had a very difficult and complicated relationship with my boyfriend.  Being raised in an extremely strict Christian home my parents were less than overjoyed at the news. In fact they were heartbroken and at first wanted nothing to do with the child I would be having. My father wouldn’t even look at me for months following the news. It was a very painful time. I had no support, help, money, encouragement, or even the slightest clue of how to actually take care of a baby. During my pregnancy, all of the stress also caused physical complications, and I was in and out of the hospital constantly, even spending my entire 6th-month bedridden and all alone in a cold hospital room. Daily stress tests were part of my routine and eventually, I went into a very complicated and difficult labor weeks early resulting in having an emergency c-section before my little preemie baby boy came into the world. I wasn’t the first person to see him or hold him and had no idea if he was even ok as I spent hours all alone in the recovery room.  When our meeting did finally come, I expected to feel emotional, cry tears of joy and the feeling of knowing that all of that drama was worth it. Instead, I wasn’t even given the chance to see my baby boy’s face before he was literally shoved into my breast immediately after being rolled into my room where my baby was being held by a total stranger. That was the onset of what then became post-partum depression for me.  I was alone and deeply felt it. There were days I would wake up to my son crying in the morning and I was so tired and depressed I would start to cry myself and just keep laying there…..usually for hours. I am ashamed to admit that, but it’s what depression does to people. It stops us from being the best versions of ourselves.  Almost 2 years later, however, the post-partum symptoms began to fade and my “regular” depression settled back in, but since he and I were such close buddies already it was no big deal….I guess. But motherhood became something I fought to be better at, and it was much easier to find little bits of joy in it.  I suffered alone, but no one should have to.

1 in every 8 women suffers from some form of post-partum depression. With a wide range of symptoms such as feelings of inadequacy, anxiety, harmful thoughts, and lack of motivation for self-care and or caring for the baby it is so hard to understand what’s going on and ask for help.  It’s more common than people realize and it’s high time we acknowledge that it happens to even the best of us.  There is no need to go through it alone like I did so if you are pregnant or recently had a baby and feel like you may be suffering from something you don’t quite understand, talk to someone today. A parent, friend or even your doctor.  Especially us single moms who don’t have partners to help with raising a child, it’s so important to not deal with these issues on your own.

If you feel like you need to talk to someone about your depression, head over to BetterHelp.com for information.

I hope this has shed a little extra light on the subject matter for you and you feel encouraged to either help yourself or help other moms around you. Much love & warmth…

Jess XO

The Emotional Effects Of Single Motherhood.

You know those times when I get real with you? Yeah, well this is one of those times. I wanted to post briefly about the emotional effects of single motherhood. Being a single mom has got to be the toughest job on the planet. Raising children on your own, balancing work, the house, kid’s school and all the things. When your child is upset, it’s you who is there to fix, always you. When they are mad, it is your job to calm them, when they’re hungry, you feed them. Soccer practice? You drive them. All day, every day it is you, you, you. You are the only parent, so therefore it is always, only you when it comes to everything. One parent, one car, one income, one mind and one heart. All of this takes its toll. It is mentally, physically and emotionally challenging to keep yourself from falling apart 24/7. I find myself forcing away tears on a daily basis and thinking to myself “how am I going to keep doing this on my own?” And dreaming about running away and never coming back. It’s hard.

when-youre-tired-struggling-and-wondering-if-youre-doing-it-right-that-means-that-you-are-you-are-a-great-mother

When you find yourself emotionally low, tired, stressed and like you just can’t do it anymore, remeber…you are not alone. Millions of other single mom’s are feeling similar to you and also remember that yes, you can do it. You are a strong, fierce, smart, amazing woman who can and will kick butt and keep it all together. You are wonder woman! Part of my goal with my blog to let you know that you are never alone because you have me, your single mom friend who is always there to give you the best tips, advice, and encouraging thoughts! So I want to tell you to hang in there and to never feel alone. I got your back girl! Some of the effects of being a single mom are really difficult to live with. Such as sometimes feeling inadequate, like you are never good enough. You’re not strong enough or smart enough to do this on your own. Or that there just isn’t enough of you to go around. In these times of negative thoughts, finding ways to deal with them are key to staying strong and keeping positive on your single parenting journey.

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Image via Pinterest

Some helpful ways to keep the negative thoughts away are to make sure you are getting enough “you” time each day. Support is another thing you need, family, friends, and support from other single moms. People who understand your struggles  and can relate. Try to find some local single moms in your area and start a group, or just join one one Facebook! This one is awesome, you can find me there! http://tinyurl.com/zq4vo8c Also, exercise helps boosts endorphins and keeps you feeling your best. So add some fun exercise to your daily schedule. Eating right as well, lacking in certain nutrients doesn’t help when you want to feel you best and have a sharp mind and stay energetic. So keep your diet in check. Also, things like meditation, prayer or mind cleansing exercises are proven to be helpful when keeping negative energy at bay. For more info about relieving yourself from negativity, stress and fear, head over to my friend Joia’s blog about emotional healing and coaching. She has some fantastic content and I highly recommend you give her blog a follow! You can check out her blog here: http://www.joiagibble.com/blog/ 

If you need any further information on mental health or just want to talk to someone about your emotions, check out BetterHelp.com

I hope this has encouraged you, and that you feel better about the single mom life. It’s a hard job, but…somebody’s gotta do it! Why not us right? We totally got this! Ok wonder woman, don’t forget to leave me a comment, subscribe to my lovely little blog if you haven’t already and share this with your other single mom friends!

Catch you, beautiful ladies, later!
-Jess XO