Self Confidence For The Single Mom

self confidence for the single mom | neveralonemom.com

Happy New Year Mamas!

The start of the new year is right around the corner and with that for most brings a lot of looking at your life, resolutions, new goals, and self-confidence issues. So today I am hoping to help boost all of these areas for you! Keep on reading to see my best advice for self-confidence for the single mom!

Reflection & Looking Ahead

Pretty much everyone takes a look back on the last year of their life and a glimpse of hope for the next year on New Years. It’s a time to really think about what you’ve accomplished, or not accomplished and what you can do better going into the new year. As single moms, sometimes it’s hard to not have those negative thoughts about we failed ourselves, our kids and just didn’t do everything we feel like we should have. But you know what? None of that is true!

You are a smart, strong, hard-working mama who absolutely did her best and in no way failed anyone.  Do not look back on this last year with disappointment in yourself. You did all you could, and you rocked it! Do look ahead with hope and excitement, because this year will be even better. You can only go up from here, claim it and believe it! Let’s all move forward ready to take on 2018.

Self Confidence 

I have struggled with self-confidence my entire life. It’s never been easy to feel good about myself, feel like I was good enough like I was attractive or even loved.  I am sure as single moms yourselves, you feel me.  The things we go through raising kids on our own and not having a true support system can be damaging to us. Whether you survived an abusive relationship, a toxic family, or are still dealing with mental health issues, loneliness, or any other dark cloud, your self-confidence suffers.

It is time to take back your self-love. It is time to begin to heal from those hurtful and false thoughts and learn how to feel more comfortable and confident in your own skin. I’m not just saying this to you, I’m saying this to me too! Are you ready to love yourself? I know I am!

self confidence | neveralonemom.com

My Best Advice

Spend time with yourself. Yes, really. Take a little time each day, if you can, and have some quality me time.  Take a walk outside, go to the grocery store alone, watch a movie by yourself. Just relax in your own thoughts, examine them closely and start trying to change them. Find something you enjoy doing or thinking about and run with that. Find the small things in your day and all the little things that make you smile and hold on to that joy. Allow it to leak out and spread to the rest of your thoughts and actions. Find beauty in life, and find it in yourself.

Make time for outward self-love. Give yourself a mani-pedi, do an at-home face mask. Pluck your eyebrows, do a hair mask, take a bubble bath, buy some new makeup or a hot new outfit, etc. Pamper yourself, take care of yourself. Do something that will naturally boost your confidence and help you to not only maybe look a little better but feel so much better! These things may seem silly but they are actually important. Boost those endorphins any way you can, flaunt your hot self and look and feel fabulous. Because you are!

new me | neveralonemom.com

Set new goals. This may seem like new years no-brainer, but the trick with this is to set realist goals for yourself.  That way when you didn’t go on that vacation to Bora Bora you won’t feel like you failed your goals. Set goals like, eat more greens, read more books, try a new workout, find a new game to play with the kids etc.  Be simple and realistic with your goals, so that way you can crush them and not be left with disappointment in a  years time.  Don’t fool yourself, but also don’t sell yourself short either. You know what realistic goals for yourself are, set yourself up for greatness, not failure. Make this year about what you can do, not what you wish you could do.

For more help with self-love, please visit liveyourdream.org

I hope I’ve given you some tips on making 2018 your best year yet and given you a shimmering new self-confidence!

May your year be blessed.

JessXO

 

What Could Go Wrong This Christmas?

What could go wrong this Christmas? | neveralonemom.com

Happy Christmas mamas!

That sounded very British, didn’t it?

Christmas | neveralonemom.com
Source: https://www.pexels.com/photo/two-champagne-glasses-near-baubles-712324/

It’s getting closer and closer to the holidays. The decorations are up; presents are exchanged. There is good cheer all around you. People are making the most of the holiday season and basking in the occasion; people are having fun. So it begs the question, what could go wrong this Christmas? As single moms, this time of year can be especially challenging and I bet these scenarios sound at least somewhat familiar… 

 

As with every big celebration throughout the year, there is always the danger of things going awry. These problems can range from the small to the calamitous, and it’s up to you to know how to deal with them should any of them arise. And, knowing the Universe, they probably will. #FAIL 

 

THE TRAGEDY OF THE TURKEY

 

A Christmas dinner of turkey and all the trimmings is a staple of any household’s yearly celebration. But, for all of the preparation you might painstakingly pour over in the upcoming weeks, there is no accounting for a potential disaster.

 

The turkey could end up burned; the oven could break, your uncle’s new wife could reveal that she is, actually, vegan and is wondering why you haven’t made accommodations for her needs. To avoid any of these problems, it’s a good idea to have a backup plan, should things turn out the opposite of intended. This doesn’t mean buying two of everything; there are recipes all over the internet to give you something to fall back on, should disaster strike. 

 

COPING WITH CRIME

 

It’s a shame that this has to be mentioned, but with holiday cheer also comes holiday tears. It would be nice for everyone to go through Christmas without having to deal with damage from outside influence but that is not always the case. It would be devastating to lose the gifts that I know as a single mom you did not come easily by. 

 

Crime at Christmas can be considered anything from drunk driving to personal damage. The spirit of the season seems to stop people thinking entirely sensibly. It can be devastating for families all over the world to find themselves the victims of criminal problems. Powers McCartan offers a nice little bit of advice on dealing with all types of crime that you might fall victim to, giving you a little peace of mind should anything go wrong.

 

ARGUMENTS WITH AUNTY ANNIE

 

Not just Aunty Annie, obviously. For some, the holiday season means nothing but disagreements, shouting matches, and an all around sour mood. But it doesn’t need to be that way. Being single moms, it’s, unfortunately, the norm to receive some kind of criticism from family during the holiday season, but be strong and hold your own! 

 

As much as some may try, the family still manages to get under each other’s skin over Christmas. It can be challenging to spend a whole day with a host of people that you a) don’t really know, and b) have next to nothing in common with or c) simply don’t agree with or understand your single mom lifestyle.  Disagreements are bound to arise at some point. To avoid this, there are ways to avoid confrontation, but should this fail; you can turn these negatives into positives.

 

The best way to approach Christmas is to assume the worst. If you are prepared for everything that can and will go wrong, you can at least have an idea of ways to solve it. Just try not to let the fear of disaster reign over all your Christmas cheer. I hope I have helped you to bravely face this wonderful time of year. I know how difficult it can be for us living the single mom life and I pray you all feel nothing but pure joy this Christmas. 

Be Merry & Bright

Jess XO

In collaboration  🙂

Christmas cards in one click with PhotoMania

Christmas cards with PhotoMania | neveralonemom.com

Hey mamas! I hope you’re all having a wonderful Holiday season! This week I wanted to bring to you all the classic joy and memories of Christmas cards  and the easiest and best way to create this  years   Christmas cards  in one click with PhotoMania!

Christmas cards with PhotoMania | neveralonemom.com

As single moms, we don’t always have the time to do things such as send out cards, whether they be via snail mail or online. Also, the cost of having professional pictures taken to cards created is just too much for our tiny single mom wallets. Well, this will all change for you! I am excited to show you how amazing your Christmas cards will look using a simple click! With PhotoMania , you get to choose the effects, backgrounds, and fun editing of your own photos! Just choose your favorite photo of your little ones or whatever you think will make the best card and upload the photo to their site. It’s fast, easy, fun and FREE! 

To make it even better, PhotoMania has an app and a Chrome extension so you can add some personality to your favorite photos any time you want! Once you’ve created your Christmas card masterpiece, just save it to your phone or computer and send it out to all your friends and family! Booyah! 

Christmas photos with PhotoMania | neveralonemom.com

So what are you waiting for? Go right on over to PhotoMania  right now and start creating!  Have fun! Don’t forget to share and subscribe to my single mom tribe!

May your Holidays be wonderful!

Love, Jess XO

This post was proudly sponsored by PhotoMania 

 

 

Single Mom Instagram Accounts You Need To Be Following

single mom Instagram accounts you need to be following | neveralonemom.com

Hey mamas!

So this week on the blog I wanted to give shoutouts to my top single mom Instagram accounts that I think you need to be following! These ladies are rockstars and as my main goal for my blog is to bring you all support, advice, and fun  I thought this would be a great way to share some of the places I find this for myself. So without further ado…

single mom Instagram accounts | neveralonemom.com

@daisharenee_blogs

This chick is a pretty awesome single mama who blogs and rocks it as a mompreneur. I love the simplicity and everyday aspect of her content, there is just something so refreshing about her account. Plus she has a really amazing blog! Give her a follow by clicking here

@single.mom.life

Ok now, this is probably one of the best single mom-centered online accounts I have yet to come across! There is no lack of realism, support or faith to be found on single.mom.life. I absolutely love the content shared here and a huge bonus is the mama behind it has her own radio show! You will fall in love with this account, to follow go here 

@esilejoy

This beautiful mama has a really fun account and I love her content! She’s a gamer and single mom who co-hosts her own gaming show and shares some really great stuff! I only just discovered her and am super impressed! she’s a must follow for sure! Find her here

@peacefulangstymama

This single mom has an anxiety and personal strength centered account which I adore! This mom of 2 motivates and inspires others who may be struggling in areas of anxiousness and her content is just so fantastic! I highly suggest giving her a follow! Follow along with Jennifer here

@angelathomasphoto

Last but certainly not least is Angela, who is her own words is an “all around badass” She is a photographer, single mom and more and she totally rocks it! I have loved looking through her content and am thrilled to see such an incredible single mom thriving! Her young, fun and hip account is sure to brighten up your day! Give this mama a follow here

Oh, but wait! Don’t forget me!

@JesseJaneVA10

If you are not already following me on Instagram, then what are you waiting for? Give me a follow and show your support to me and all these other totally tubular mamas! You can find me here

Thank you so much, I hope you love all the new content in your Instagram feed!

Until next time,

Love Jess, XO

 

The Struggle Of Post-Partum Depression

Postpartum Depression | neveralonemom.com

Hello my dears, welcome to another post brought to you by yours truly. Today on the blog I want to talk about something pretty serious, post-partum depression. The struggle is very real when it comes to things like depression, anxiety, and other similar mood disorders. Take it from me, I know the challenges they bring as I have suffered from depression and other issues my entire life.  It’s not fun, it’s not easy and it’s definitely not something to be ignored. But in this post, I want to talk specifically about post-partum depression and it’s struggles.

 

I too went through a nasty deep depression both during and after my pregnancy. Already having depression and other issues it hit me hard and there were quite a few days I literally couldn’t even. More on that in a bit. So to answer the question I bet you’re thinking, yes you can have pregnancy related depression during your pregnancy too, not just after giving birth. These during pregnancy emotional rides are referred to as ‘perinatal mood disorders’ and affect around 20% of pregnant women.  Symptoms such as feelings of deep sadness, anxiety, sleeplessness, lack of focus, energy and of dread about motherhood are common.  Many things can bring this about during pregnancy, stress, poor diet, lack of sleep and most importantly emotional trauma and personal struggle. For me, already having depression it was probably inevitable for it to only increase with my spike of hormones when I became pregnant, but that was not the main reason I feel like it hit me so hard. During my very complicated and stressful pregnancy, I was going through the hardest time of my life.  I wasn’t one of the lucky moms who felt joy and excitement when the pee test showed pink lines. I was 21 years old, still living with my parents, no job, had just been kicked out of college and had a very difficult and complicated relationship with my boyfriend.  Being raised in an extremely strict Christian home my parents were less than overjoyed at the news. In fact they were heartbroken and at first wanted nothing to do with the child I would be having. My father wouldn’t even look at me for months following the news. It was a very painful time. I had no support, help, money, encouragement, or even the slightest clue of how to actually take care of a baby. During my pregnancy, all of the stress also caused physical complications, and I was in and out of the hospital constantly, even spending my entire 6th-month bedridden and all alone in a cold hospital room. Daily stress tests were part of my routine and eventually, I went into a very complicated and difficult labor weeks early resulting in having an emergency c-section before my little preemie baby boy came into the world. I wasn’t the first person to see him or hold him and had no idea if he was even ok as I spent hours all alone in the recovery room.  When our meeting did finally come, I expected to feel emotional, cry tears of joy and the feeling of knowing that all of that drama was worth it. Instead, I wasn’t even given the chance to see my baby boy’s face before he was literally shoved into my breast immediately after being rolled into my room where my baby was being held by a total stranger. That was the onset of what then became post-partum depression for me.  I was alone and deeply felt it. There were days I would wake up to my son crying in the morning and I was so tired and depressed I would start to cry myself and just keep laying there…..usually for hours. I am ashamed to admit that, but it’s what depression does to people. It stops us from being the best versions of ourselves.  Almost 2 years later, however, the post-partum symptoms began to fade and my “regular” depression settled back in, but since he and I were such close buddies already it was no big deal….I guess. But motherhood became something I fought to be better at, and it was much easier to find little bits of joy in it.  I suffered alone, but no one should have to.

1 in every 8 women suffers from some form of post-partum depression. With a wide range of symptoms such as feelings of inadequacy, anxiety, harmful thoughts, and lack of motivation for self-care and or caring for the baby it is so hard to understand what’s going on and ask for help.  It’s more common than people realize and it’s high time we acknowledge that it happens to even the best of us.  There is no need to go through it alone like I did so if you are pregnant or recently had a baby and feel like you may be suffering from something you don’t quite understand, talk to someone today. A parent, friend or even your doctor.  Especially us single moms who don’t have partners to help with raising a child, it’s so important to not deal with these issues on your own.

If you feel like you need to talk to someone about your depression, head over to BetterHelp.com for information.

I hope this has shed a little extra light on the subject matter for you and you feel encouraged to either help yourself or help other moms around you. Much love & warmth…

Jess XO

How To Overcome Single Mom Guilt

how to overcome single mom guilt | neveralonemom.com

Hey hey there mamas!
It’s me again, your girl Jess and I have come with some solace for that heavy guilt we all deal with daily as stressed-out single moms and how to overcome.

single mom guilt | neveralonemom.com

Being a single mom is tough, tougher than most of us like to admit, and it comes with guilt over things like the feeling we are not enough for our children, or we can’t provide enough for them on our own. Then there are other things as well that cross our minds as we try to sleep at night. But don’t worry momma, I am here to help you…and me to overcome that guilt because it’s not necessary.

When someone says to you “I’m sorry” or makes you feel shame for being a single mom, just take it stride. Many people out there still throw judgment, and criticism towards us for raising our babies on our own.  Don’t let their ignorance or lack of understanding make you feel like you’re doing something wrong or bad. You are so strong, brave and doing what is best. You are doing your job as a mom and you know what? You’re a superhero! Don’t let anyone take that truth away from you.

No matter what, your kids will hate you or disagree on how you chose to raise them. It’s normal. It’s harsh but totally true. At some point, your kid/s will hate you. Or at least, say they do. So when your bratty toddler or teenager is making you feel like scum but saying or doing hurtful things and you feel tempted to believe that you are a bad mom and that doing this alone is just not working…it’s OK. This happens to every mom every day. It’s not you, typically it’s them and they will get over it and someday thank you and appreciate all your hard efforts. So go get a massage from a hot shirtless masseuse and remember that this is a normal part of parenting. Don’t let their snotty little attitudes bring ya down.

You can only do the best you can and that is always good enough. To further drive this point home, you really can only do so much and that is always enough for your kiddo/s. Whether it seems that way or not, it really is.  As long as everyone is provided for, happy and loved, then that’s what’s most important. You can do that, so don’t worry. They’ll be fine. 🙂

Find your strength as a single mom and let it empower you! You can do it and you will. Ready to wear your super mom cape yet?

Have hope that it will all turn out to be alright. Just trust yourself. You were made to be a mother and your instincts and heart will guide you.  Take it one day at a time if you have to, believe me, I do!  Focus on getting through today and let tomorrow worry for itself. No need to stress over things that haven’t happened yet!

Don’t blame yourself or feel any guilt over being a single parent. Most of us did not choose it, and if you did then hey, more power to ya mama! You got this girl, No worries! 😉

single mom | neveralonemom.com

Keep your chin up beautiful!

Love Jess XO

10 Things To Never Say To A Single Mom

Hey there sexy mamas!
So, I’ve been wanting to write this post for a while becasue I’ve had it up to wazoo with dealing with the dumb things people can say. I’m sure all these things have been said to you and as a single mom doesn’t it just make you want to strangle the person? Ok…maybe that’s just me…I tend to have a violent imagination haha…so I have made a list of 10 things to never say to a single mom. Let’s get into this.
  1. Get a sitter.

Yeah, I’m just going to leave my kid with some random stranger or dump them on a friend or relative so I can go hang out with you. Sure. Oh, and I’ll be pulling money out from my arse to pay them as well. Sounds terrific. See you at 8. Do people actually expect a single mother to just have someone available at all times to watch their kid so they can just take off whenever? Look, I am taking care of my child/ren ALONE. I cannot and will not be going out with you tonight. Don’t be dumb.
2.Where’s the dad? What happened?

This question makes me want to show them my inner ghetto attitude with a very nasty “that aint none ya business!” But instead I just answer them leaving out all the horrific and angering details even though it isn’t any of their business. My kid’s dad is in Acapulco working as a spy for the Government protecting us from the aliens if you must know, becasue why else would he not be in his kids life?
3. Doesn’t the dad help? Does he get them?

Why do people even ask this? When they look at a single mom what makes them think to ask if the dad helps out or sees them sometimes? Not all separated families co-parent. Most actually don’t. So don’t be nosy.
4. Do they have different dads?

If you have more then one child I’m sure you’ve been asked this. It’s frustrating isn’t it? I can’t believe people actually ask this. Just don’t.
5. No statistics.

People love quoting statistics to us. Like as if they think telling us facts which are mostly wrong will make us change our entire lives for the better. Seriously? If you are not a single parent, then don’t you dare quote statistics to me and think you’re being helpful. You’re not.

single mom | neveralonemom.com
6. You single moms.

Never ever start off a conversion by saying “you single moms” umm…excuse me? Us single moms? Watch it sweetie. It’s just like saying all you hat wearers. Really?
7.I feel like a single mom too.

Ok, let’s get something straight. If you are married, are in a relationship or something to that effect then no, you cannot say that you relate to being a single mom in any way. Women are always saying, my husband works all the time, or he travels a lot or my boyfriend doesn’t help with my kids so I feel like a single mom too. You’re kidding me right? No honey, you have no clue what being a real single mom is like. So appreciate the man you have in your life and shut your mouth.
8. How do you do it alone?

How do you ask? Really now. Umm well, the same way any other mom on the planet does it. By loving my child/ren with all my heart and doing my best for them. I am perfectly capable and you should believe that I am too. I just simply do it. There isn’t a how. There is no single mom manual. Love is all you need.
9. Poor kid, he/she doesn’t have a dad.

I’m sorry? Did I hear you correctly? My poor kid? That’s hilarious. There is nothing poor or sad about my kid not having a dad. My son is lucky and better off to not have his dad in the picture. As long as a child is loved, then no. They are not poor and they are not missing out on anything.
10. I’m sorry.

When someone tells me they are sorry that I’m a single mom I seriously don’t understand. You’re sorry for….what? Please explain why it’s so awful that I have beautiful kids that I get to take care of and love. I don’t know what it is you feel so sorry for but, I don’t accept your apology. I would however, love to accept a coffee.

I hope this has opened your eyes a bit and taught you how to respond to these ridiculous questions or what not to say to any single mom you come across. We are in this together.  On your own, but never alone. 😉

Love your girl, Jess XO